The Perfect New Year’s Song!

Marry You by Glee Cast.

I dont know why but I sure am in love with this video since I saw it for the first time.

Lesson Learned.

Was checking out Lee DeWyze choice of songs that he sang in American Idol and I gotta say, some of it was pretty awesome stuff.

Two reason why this ;

ONE : His vocals was really good.

TWO : You're still the one I want.

Another two reason why this ;

ONE : The music for this was so nice and the mixture of Lee's vocals made it very sexy!

TWO : This lyrics speaks for itself. Trust me, treat her like a lady and she'll give in to you. :)

Nowhere to Go.

When we were doing interviews for our bio, I described hearing that song for the first time to be like Sara was standing on my chest. I just felt really sad, and that was having heard all the other songs in order leading up to that one. I know that when Sara was writing these songs it was during the end of her relationship and it was someone she’d been friends with for almost ten years and been with for four years. It was just the psyche of it, when you’ve known someone for half your life, literally, and then have to leave them, and not necessarily because you want to but just because it’s the right thing to do, and it’s just not healthy and you’re not good anymore, there’s no growth and you have to have growth. And when I hear that song, the idea of that all happening just makes me sick to my stomach a little bit. But it’s in an enjoyable way.

– Tegan Quin (on I Can’t Take It)

Bass Down Low!

Dev is the sex! 8D

Shes so hawt!

Gotta Feel the Hunger in your Tummy.

im motivated! :)

Chris Brown is back and im glad!

Simple Plan.

they were Simple Plan and they still are Simple Plan.

I cant wait for their new album. :)

Sorry for SP's Spam. I love them too much!

Nothing at All.

I don’t think I can deal with the things you said

It just won’t go away

In a perfect world

You’d still be here

And it makes no sense

I could just pick up the pieces

But to you

This means nothing

Nothing at all

I used to think that I was strong

Until the day it all went wrong

I think I need a miracle to make it through

Cuz I can’t let go

I just can’t find my way

Without you I just can’t find my way

I don’t know what I should do now

I don’t know where I should go

I’m still here waiting for you

I’m lost when you’re not around

I need to hold on to you

I just can’t let you go

Scripted Destiny.

If misery loves company well,

So long, you'll miss me when I'm gone.

You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

Life is what happens while you're busy making your excuses.

Another day, another casualty.

You're gonna wake up feeling sorry.

Its Nothing but..

I can't bite my tongue forever

While you try to play it cool

You can hide behind your stories

But don't take me for a fool

You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want

But I know your love is just a lie

It's nothing but a lie

How does it feel when you kiss when you know that i trust you

DJ Earworm!

Since the year ending, we all look forward to mash up by DJs. :)

That Smile!

His smile at 1min30sec made me smileeee! :)

you don’t need a catchy song cause the kids will sing along when you sell it with a smile.

:)

I always love this song for some reason. :)

Sixteen Tracks of Awesomeness!

After waiting for 17 hours is finally done. :')

At the moment, im checking out this dope album by B.O.B!

I Want You, Yes I Do!

Trey Songz has got me thinking about everything from this song.

When I said everything, you will know what I meant after you listen to this song. ;)

the way you bite your lip is that your way of tellin me you like it.

Avril Lavigne!

Avril Lavigne's new single, What The Hell. :)

It’s Cold but We’ll be Freezing in Style!

Shake up the happiness! Wake up the happiness!

You Know My Motivation.

Enrique Iglesias, I love it when you have video like this. Is the sex we, fans get from you. :X

Sweet BMWs!

Guys, I cant get enough of this song too. ;)

Valerie Anne Poxleitner.

what is there not to love about her? shes awesome. :)

Off The Deep End.

So if you are listening

I'm regreting it tonight

Maybe it's too late

But if you ever could belive me

You were the one saved me

And you can't take that away

Santa's Got a Bullet in His Gun.

The Killers always tend to have something in their song that will makes me wanna hear all night long. :')

The Best Thirty Seconds of My Life.

Point one : Theres Blake Lively and Jessica Alba! 8D

Point two : I'm pretty sure they were inspired by Katy Perry shooting fireworks from her boobs, so, they switch it up by shooting fireworks from their cocks. (Y)

I had a good laugh. :)

"Having sex should make a nice man out the meanest."

Dance Up on Them Haters.

ADTR or The Fray?

VS

I, personally love both but I lean about 3% more to The Fray.

Maroon 5 Marathon.

Kiss me somewhere deep below the surface

I just need a little of your time to say the words I never said.

I just need a little of your time to talk to you and let everything out.

I just need a little of your time to tell you im not that kinda person.

And now I’m stuck living out that night again

I find my heart is growing weak

The misbehaving only makes the ditch between us so damn deep.

Desperately need more of your hot love

Wrap yourself around me like a warm glove

I’m so attracted to you

The feeling’s mutual too

And I get scared the moment you leave

Get so hot I forget to breathe, yeah

Though I don't understand the meaning of love

I do not mind if I die trying, ohhh

Took it for granted when you lifted me up

I'm asking for your help

I am going through hell

Afraid nothing can save me but the sound of your voice

You cut out all the noise

And now that I can see mistakes so clearly now

I'd kill if I could take you back

But how?

I have been bound by the shackles of love

And I don't mind if I die tied up, ohhh

I can't lie on my mind

Stuck inside my head

I wanna feel your heart beat for me instead, yeah

I just die so much inside

Now that you're not there

I wanna feel your heartbeat like yesterday

I never did my best to

Express how I really felt

And now that I know exactly what I want

You found somebody else

Goodbye To The Machine.

Now all I could see Is someone else but me holding you

Will you let me know if you let me go, my love, my love

Hey you, you're everything to me.

Here I Go...

Broken this fragile thing now

And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces

And I've thrown my words all around

But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)

And I give up (I give up)

I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you

You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down

And I can't, I can't hold on for too long

Ran my whole life in the ground

And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

Same Night Sky.

You texted me this,

If I could find you now

Things would get better,

We could leave this town,

And run forever,

Let your waves crash down on me

And take me away

when I was in hometown after my grandpa passed away.

When I sleep,

I dream and it gets me by,

I can make believe, that you're here - tonight.

Need a Change, Getting a Chance.

This is now 100% Music Blog.

I'm moving out from Never Silence Life.

But what I have for music will remind here.

Off to the Moon. Dear, Care to Join Me?

Oh, baby

I know our love is new

I barely know ya

I've fallen over you

It's the way you do the things you do

That make me fall in love with you

Baby, are you in love with me too?

It's I'm in love with you

Are you in love with me too?

Dave Days.

what does it take to hold you when im here without you

i dont know where to start.

i gotta find you and your heart

before it falls apart.

we fell in love

but didnt try to say it

we knew what it was the moment that we played it

we all lose sometimes

i cant get her off my mind (and i dont want too)

what does it take to make it real

the world still spins

and im still feeling it

your hand right next to mine

im hung up and cant relax

because shes so far awayyyyy

im finding words to say

before it falls apart.

Blub.

My mind is muddy but my heart is heavy. Does it show?

Steady my breathing, silently screaming, "I have to have you now".

The quiet silence defines our misery.

It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you.

The Arcade.

Its around 1:30 am now and I cant really think of perfect or just normal words to talk about you. I know if I had that mood now, I can go on and on to talk about you like its never ever going to end. Baby, I love you. I hope you dont mind me just using lyrics to express what im feeling now.

Tell me what it feels like being in my heart and the center of my eye and always on my mind? Every time you smile, I swear the world is going to stop. I got my heads above the clouds and I hope and pray I'll never drop cause all I see is you and me and probably means everything to me.

I don't know why but I love you and I just know I can't stop thinking of you. You're irresistible!

You should know that I always cant seem to talk cause the moment I see you, I get so nervous that I don't know what to do or I wont know what to say. At times, I forget I can even speak english. I'm sorry if I've never been the easiest to read.

I was praying that you and me might end up together. Love is the worst, you can't explain but once you feel it inside you're not the same. I've got a lot heart growing heavier for you. You're never too much that I am entirely in for. I need you. I need you here. I need you now. I need security somehow. You would not believe but you're the only thing I want cause you're everything I need.

Most of the times, when it comes to you, hopes seem to dangle somewhere just beyond my reach. I'm holding you closer than most cause you are my heaven. Your words are the only words that I believe in afterwards. But, you should know it's true, the part about my love for you. My love is true, it's a matter of fact and it's as simple as that. Baby, it's fact!

You're love, my love. :)

Secret #98.

I need a bath.

I need a hug.

I need a signature hot chocolate from Starbucks. (i really need this)

And I need A change.

I need to stop all the playful flirting.

I JUST WANT TO GO TO THE GOD DAMN CINEMA AND WATCH ALL THE MOVIES I HAVENT!

Mutual Feeling.

I wrote that song [The Ocean] after a very uncomfortable incident with a girl I was dating. I had been chasing her for two years and when she finally agreed to date me there was a relief but also a new level of intensity and fear and awkwardness. I was trying to remain calm. I was trying to “be the boy” (advice Sara had given me) and so every once and awhile my emotions would spill over and I would have a fit. A crazy, dramatic, cinematic style fit. The Ocean was in response to one of those fits. I realized that a lot of the fire and love and fun had been left behind. Even though we had just started dating, we were already two years into a relationship. The chorus “Its been so long since you said, well I know what I want and what I wants right here with you” is silly. I mean..we were dating, of course she wanted to be with me. Why did she have to say it? Well when you start dating you say things like that. You reassure the person you’re with. But we had been “together” for two years as friends…all that romance had been said. It was confusing. My inner child who had issues with commitment, divorce, trust etc was really visible at that time. I’m afraid you don’t want me, even though you fought with me to have me. That was what the song really was trying to say.

:O

I wanna make, make, make, make, make it with you.

I wanna scream, scream, scream, scream, scream that I do.

I wanna go somewhere, where is just me and youuuu.

Secret #97.

I think I love you too much and I think thats is a problem.

Im not sure.

Its confusing, very confusing.

Secret #96.

What I am planning and attempting to do is the most embarrassing thing I have ever going to do to in sixteen years of living. -fingers crossed-

Can We Get Ice Cream?

Always had a thing for this boys in this band and this song. ALWAYS. :')

Secret #95.

I was really sad at that moment. There was so many thoughts running through my head than. And before we came to this mamak, I got into a big fight and I was in a huge trouble and my mum got blamed because of me. My brother took this. I wanted to delete but I just didn't do it. That's what sadness looks on me. I'm too soft and not stronger at all. I'm such a loser.

The ending of a week of hell and heaven.

Extremely Addictive and Sexy!

I was 8O the whole time.

Oh my god, this is the sexiest video.

For Everything.

I'm so sorry for everything.

Secret #94.

If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you’d be amazed at how many people don’t think of it when it’s relevant. Seriously, just punch them in the face and go get some ice cream. -Chuck Klosterman.

Frank like Francesco.

this made me smile. :)

Christmas Time, Its Time For Really Cold Weather.

Happy Holidays! :)

Students Rise Up!

Hundreds of thousands of students across the world have stood up to raise the demand: “Education is a right for all!” Massive student actions in Ireland, Britain, Italy, Pakistan, France, Greece and Puerto Rico have begun to challenge the ruling class’s program of draconian cutbacks to education and public services with the pretext of reducing government deficits.

Students in the United States, who held national days of action last March 4 and Oct. 7, plan further actions for the coming spring as state and local governments slash education budgets. The struggle erupted in secondary schools in Boston on Dec. 13 when students walked out to save their school.

The Italian Parliament was voting Nov. 30 on an education “reform” bill proposed by Education Minister Maria Stella Gelmini. The bill would cut 130,000 jobs and 9 billion euros ($12 billion) from the education system. But more than 50,000 students participated in an action in Rome known as “Block Everything Day.”

Students blocked highways, streets and railway tracks across Rome in order to end business as usual and to block the reforms. Students rallied too in other major cities, including Milan, Naples, Palermo, Pisa, Turin and Venice, where protesters also disrupted traffic and blocked tracks at railway stations.

The same week, students occupied Italy’s famous landmarks, including the Coliseum and the Leaning Tower of Pisa. The regressive education reform eventually passed, yet the struggle for education justice is far from over.

In Britain the government proposed a budget package filled with massive cuts to education and public services, including a measure to increase tuition threefold at universities. Students responded by taking to the streets in a series of demonstrations that have rocked the country.

Tens of thousands of students mobilized for three separate national days of action in November and December. The actions have grown in size and militancy each time. Students occupied more than 20 universities to fight back against the drastic tuition increase proposed by an “independent” review commission led by former BP chief Lord Browne.

Parents, teachers and unions have joined with students to protest these austerity measures. London Underground workers from the union RMT went on a four-day strike to protest job cuts and drafted a mutual statement of solidarity with student organizers from the National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts.

Nearly 100,000 students gathered in London on Dec. 9 for a march to the doors of Parliament as a vote on the tuition increase was taking place. In the streets students clashed with police, who attempted to set up blockades as the demonstration got closer to Parliament and then attacked the march. One BBC commentator remarked that protests of this magnitude and militancy hadn’t been seen in more than 20 or 30 years.

At one point during the demonstration, a Rolls Royce carrying Prince Charles and his spouse, Camilla Parker-Bowles, was surrounded by protesters and pelted with rocks and sticks. The tuition measure narrowly passed by just 21 votes, and the NCAFC later issued a statement saying that “the passing of the bill on the tuition fee increase will not deter, nor discourage future actions.” A national student assembly was held on Dec. 12 to strategize and plan for future actions.

Education should be free!

Common throughout all of these struggles is the demand: “Education should be free.” Cuba, Denmark, Greece, Ireland, Finland, Libya, Norway and several other countries provide tuition-free college. Cuba and Denmark have totally free universities, also giving students a stipend for housing and personal expenses.

In many other countries, such as Germany and Britain, education used to be free at many or all institutions. Some of the public universities in the U.S. also offered free tuition. Since the 1970s, neoliberal ruling-class politicians have supported slashing access to education for the working class, including starving the public sector of tax revenue and implementing higher tuition and student fees, making a university education affordable for only the most privileged students and families.

As tuition rises, students continue to drown in college debt. The average student debt in the state of New York, which ranks number 11 in the U.S., is $25,739, according to the Project on Student Debt. Some 63 percent of students graduate with debt and face several decades of college loan payments which often exceed rent payments.

Meanwhile, jobs for young people, even college graduates, are few and far between in the U.S. Unemployment is well over 25 percent for young people between the ages of 18 and 29, and nearly 50 percent for youth of color.

Struggle — the only way out

These students’ and workers’ actions are showing the only way forward in the face of the unrelenting economic crisis and the austerity programs being adopted by governments around the world: Take bold action and fight back!

We are being made to pay for this crisis that we did not create. Even while trillions are being spent on wars, prisons and bailouts, the ruling class is claiming there is no money for human needs like social security and education.

Here in the U.S., as the federal stimulus money dries up and state governments are again facing budgets that are billions of dollars short, neoliberal reforms are being adopted as the only solution. Local governments slash public services across the board, raise tuition with no end in sight, and threaten privatization.

New York and Boston students take action.

Larry Hales, a CCNY student who was one of organizers of the national student days of action last March 4 and Oct. 7, told this to Workers World on Dec. 14: “Motivated by students in California who called for a March 2, 2011, statewide day of action, student activists around the country have decided to call for month-long actions throughout March that will culminate in a student strike on a date that has yet to be decided.

“The student movement here has been energized by the struggles worldwide, especially in Britain and Puerto Rico, and the militant actions by students there. This, along with the cutbacks planned for the CUNY system in the spring and increases in tuition have greatly increased the possibility of more determined actions in the coming months. Today, Dec. 14, students throughout New York will be joining with professors and other staff for a protest at the office of incoming Gov. Andrew Cuomo.”

An e-mail announcing the demonstration pointed out that “for many CUNY students who are already financially strapped, the tuition hikes will mean the difference between attending college or not, especially in the context of a continuing economic crisis. At the same time that students are being asked to pay more, Mayor Bloomberg has announced plans to cut community college funding by $13 million. This comes in the wake of $225 million in cuts that have already been imposed over the past two years.”

In the Boston area on Dec. 13 some 125 students of the Brook Farm Academy, one of 20 schools scheduled to be closed or merged, walked out of school and demonstrated at the school department headquarters, demanding that their school be kept open.

Then, on Dec. 14, a group of students from the Engineering School at Hyde Park High, which is also targeted for closure, staged a similar walkout and also went to the school department to protest. That same evening a demonstration that included parents, students, teachers and the union school bus drivers from all of the area schools took place at English High School, where the school committee planned to vote on the school closings plan.

The movement here seems to be getting the message from Europe and Puerto Rico that the only way to defend public education, as well as all public services, is for workers and students to unite and globalize the struggle against the economic crisis.

Carroll and Williams organize with Raleigh Fight Imperialism, Stand Together; Frank Neisser contributed to this article.

P/S : Articles copyright 1995-2010 Workers World. Verbatim copying and distribution of this entire article is permitted in any medium without royalty provided this notice is preserved.

Is A Short Madness.

i feel like a clown, thats just what im used to.

I used to think women are not so good at music but I was so wrong. I found a bunch of women who make music that blow my mind. Its really fun finding new music every day. I forget theres a world outside. :)

Seaside Affair!

Which friend will write a song just for a friend who is about to get married?

I'll tell you, Marié Digby will! Shes awesome! :)

Secret #93.

Im all in for DEV now. She the bitch I would fuck and also she is the better version of Ke$ha. Ke$ha is nothing compare to DEV! 8D

Hold On To Your Kite.

There’s something beautiful about sleeping with someone. I’m talking about the most innocent, literal meaning of the phrase. Feeling their body heat, talking softly until slumber takes hold of you, hearing their slow, steady breaths, waking up next to them. I find beauty in the smallest things. —I Eat Words for Breakfast.

The Battle's Almost Won.

The rhythm of the conversation

The perfection of her creation

The sex she slipped into my coffee

The way she felt when she first saw me

So glad I met you and take my breath away. Make everyday worth all of the pain that I've gone through.

Secret #92.

I woke up dreaming of her lip bite that she did the other day and I lay on my bed smiling like one obsessive person. Now, that lip bite is not leaving my mind. LALALALA! Im a happy person.

I Have No Defense.

Maroon 5 is always sexy.

Cant wait for them to jam at Malaysia next year.

Baby, this is the last honest look I'll ever give.

I don't know how, no, don't know to hold you without shaking.

I'm not aware of how I could possibly love you without aching.

I'm going to hold you anyway and I'll do it without shaking.

I'll love you always and I'll do it without aching.

Greyson Chance!

His first ever music video. Gosh, hes such a sweetheart! :)

Secret #91.

So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. —Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer.

Secret #90.

I think they both made mistakes, but I think, in the end, they ended up on better terms than the ones they started with. When it started it was chaotic and full of turmoil, with moments of happiness and joy, and continued like that for a while. I think they were both confused — not sexually, though that’s an element. More confused about what they were becoming, or what they should become. I think in the end what they realised that is, if you get it right, there’s something gloriously simple and liberating about love. It was always between them, but it took some time for them to realize. - Jamie Brittain.

Track Eleven, Sainthood.

The Ocean by Tegan and Sara was playing while I was doing nothing.

I was listening very carefully to the words and thinking about the feeling that Tegan had felt when she was writing this song.

When I listen to it, I feel frustration, sadness, and desperation. I wished that I didn’t care about but somehow I can’t let go of. And the other half of the song is like I have nostalgia and maybe a touch of jealously and bitterness. Im restless. This song can be so candid but surely heartbreaking.

Secret #89.

And there is no sense in playing games, when you've done all you can do.

Hear Me Now.

My beating heart is getting tired.

Tonight it feels like it's on fire,

and I'm driving all alone.

My hand is on my phone,

waiting for you to call me.

Please pick up the phone and call me,

cause I'm lonely and my mind is aching.

Can't you see I'm for the taking?

You are my only hope,

but you're so far.

And you are my only hope,

so come back home from where you are.

I see your face on everyone,

like the constant beating of the sun right on my skin.

I'm suffering without you.

"It's Out of Reach" on my stereo

is starting to feel real close to home,

and I can't bear to sleep here without you.

Sometimes I feel like I was mistaken.

You must be an angel.

Sit down and teach me what life is all about.

I see myself changing.

No longer a stranger.

You gave me a reason to never go.

You are my only hope,

but you're so far.

And you are my only hope,

so come back home from where you are.

Secret #88.

I like moments when I give hints to my mother on what I plan to do after SPM. She gives me what the heck are you talking about face. Mothers are always mothers is all kinda funny ways. :')

Secret #87.

Lust is when you love what you see. Love is when you lust for what's inside. — Renee Conkle.

CAUSE SHE’S BITTERSWEET,

SHE KNOCKS ME OFF MY FEET!

Beautiful.

Some people are just amazing. And most of us thinks that people like them don't exist.

By Kate Chopin.

There were days when she was very happy without knowing why. She was happy to be alive and breathing, when her whole being seemed to be one with the sunlight, the color, the odors, the luxuriant warmth of some perfect Southern day. She liked then to wander alone into strange and unfamiliar places. She discovered many a sunny, sleepy corner, fashioned to dream in. And she found it good to dream and to be alone and unmolested.

There were days when she was unhappy, she did not know why—when it did not seem worth while to be glad or sorry, to be alive or dead; when life appeared to her like a grotesque pandemonium and humanity like worms struggling blindly toward inevitable annihilation. She could not work on such a day, nor weave fancies to stir her pulses and warm her blood.

Angus & Julia Stone.

Jump into your warm-mobile and run away,

Your always leaving me behind.

I don't believe in you and I.

I am not yours anymore.

Secret #86.

“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.” —James Arthur.

I Will Grow Through This Pain.

Wanna jump start? Lets jump start.

I'm back after a very very miserable and saddening week. I have loads to share but I don't know where to start from. I know this is a bad idea, anyways.

One thing I learned from everything that has happened to me in a week is that family, friends or whoever, when they say something so hurtful, something that makes you feel pain and sad only, you should fucking stand up and tell yourself, I am who I am.

Wanna kick me out of your life cause you think I don't respect you, please do. You don't deserve that from me. You don't deserve that from anyone. I am the kinda person who thinks everyone deserve respect. I'm so sorry that I didn't give you respect when I was around 13 or 14. That wasn't what I was trying to do because I was just so scared to talk to you cause you always judged me. You always comment on me. You always had something to say about me. You always had something on me. I felt so unacceptable around you. Even more I felt humiliated and embarrassed for being who I am and no ever should have feel that way. That feeling is brutal. Everyone wanted me to change change change but the thing that you all don't see is, I cant change who I am. You cant go around telling people its my mother's fault cause its not. She brought me up right. She taught everything about manners, it was me who lost my way because I wanted things that I felt comfortable in. So, I did what I did, deny listening to anyone. I was in that age to show my anger to everyone. I didn't care how old or who you are to me but now I know better. I know what I did than was wrong now.

But one thing, if I didn't do what I did and if I was force in everything from head to toes, you wouldn't be able to be reading this cause I wouldn't have been around to write this. The true fact is, I wasn't anyones favourite. I came in second always. Don't you dare say I'm wrong cause I am not. Because I know that. He was the gold prize and I was just a member in this family.

In Fact...

I dont wanna be alone.

I wish texting didn’t take so long. Or give a person such a long time frame to respond. It is quite nerve-wracking or even annoying sometimes. But than you can’t get upset at anyone; you aren’t really mad at anyone. Circumstances suck sometimes.

Been listening to Out of Goodbyes by Maroon 5 feat Lady Antebellum. I feel so miserable. ):

Alyssa Siew tweeted "Rumor has it that Coldplay and Maroon 5 will be coming to M'sia next year". )':

I got to go now.

Obsessed depressed at the same time. I can't even walk in a straight line. When I look into your eyes you're not even there. It's just a feeling that I have.

Living inside my head, pulling my strings. Letting me think I'm in control and giving you all my heart was a good start.

Secret #85.

I was asked, are you the kinda person who dumps or gets dumped?

My answer will be, I don't know yet but I'm pretty sure I'm the kinda person who gets dumped. For sure.

And Then Morning Came.

I've been listening to Tegan and Sara since I got back from Christmas shopping with Whitney Avenue. (I mean Whitney Ng).Thought of doing a Tegan and Sara lyrics mashup post. I wanted to rant about something but than I changed my mind. I wont be around for a week or so. Means, no update. And I wont be missed, that's okay. Put a smile and keep moving on.

You are here to stay but you always run away. I didn't see it coming, you're slow to letting me go and I know this feeling oh-so this feeling in my bones. Tell me that I have one track, my mind just runs an endless lap. Thoughts of you are bound to end. Tell me you are here to stay.

Everyday, to make myself feel bad there's a chance I'll start to wonder if this was the thing to do. You take your time coming over here and I think that's for the best. You say I love you but I cannot stay. Call, break it off. I got uncertain from this. I cried so hard that you pushed me further away. I get so sad that sad gets to be. Everything I love, get back for me now. Everyone I love, I need you now.

So scared that all my feelings they up and leave me. I go so crazy I don't know what to do. I'll be perfect from now on but all my promises they're out the window once you're gone. Hold out for the ones you know will love you. Hide out from the ones you know will love you. Everything I say, I say to me first. Everything I do, I do to me first. So what, I lied I lied to me too. I know these habits hurt important parts of you. Remember when I was sweet and unexplainable nothing like this person, unlovable. I'll stray when I get a little scared.

Hard-hearted don't worry I'm ready for a fight. Repeat, repeat the words that I know we both said, you said you couldn't love me and all I do is love you. Now with your cause and affection on my mind, I won't yield, throw caution into the blaze. Watch, with a bit of friction, I'll be under your clothes and with a bit of focus, I'll be under your skin.

Its 3:11am and I'm still wide awake. I cant sleep. I've been watching Ellen D always before bed time. I think its a good way to end a day. Certain video made me laugh til there were tears on my eyes. :') She is such an amazing women. I adore her!

Well, anyways, I cant believe I wont be able to attend Whitney's b'day dinner. 3 more weeks than school's going to reopen which means, I have three more weeks to get stuff done. I have to take my highway code theory test, the main one. Tuition hunting for next year. As much hangout I can have with the loves ones. These are the top of my list. Hopefully, things will work out the way I want. -fingers crossed-

Got a haircut too. Well obviously, not what I wanted but what mum wanted. -.- I'm getting sick of being her barbie doll. I'm sixteen and I can even get my choice of haircut, sigh. This is the last time shes doing this do me. Do you know how fucking embarrassing is it to argue with your mum about the choice you wanna make on yourself in front of the hairstylist. -faceplam-

As far as I see this, I am weak in her eyes. I'm not capable of making choice in her eyes. She thinks, the thing I want is not me. She doesn't want to accept the fact, I'm not like the other girls. I'm boyish, that fact is so hard for her to swallow. This whole thing has causes a big chaos in my life and this chaos is never going to have an ending and I feel that already. I just want my relationship with my mum to get stronger. I need her to have at least a percent of faith in me. That's all I ask for.

Goodnight peeps.

Secret #84.

Its official, I DISLIKE CASHIERS!

- they can never mind their own business-

Dont Wait.

There's always that one person that will always have your heart, You never see it coming cause you're blinded from the start but know that you're that one for me. - Usher & Alicia Keys, My Boo.

I count the steps the distance to the time when it was me and you is so far gone.

She's Out of My League.

I think I am on a journey to be a better person.

I know just saying that doesn't make me a better person or anything but I think I am trying to be a better person. I have to proof that to myself. I need to get things done. I need to chase after my so called dream. I need to work hard. I need to put the best of me in works or things that I start doing. There something worth while for all this. I need to be someone for myself before I could be someone to someone else.

Just knowing that I love someone so much that it changes the whole perspective of life. The way I looked at my life then and the way I'm looking at life now, its a whole new ball game. What I thought wasn't important for my future is now very important for my future. Slowly, I'm starting to realized that everything I do now or say now will take place in my future. And for me to realized this whole thing, just took one person. Just one. (maybe two)

I'm really thankful and grateful for having her in my life. I think if I didn't say what I did said to her, I would be missing out in alot of things including happiness. I'm so very thankful to myself for having the balls to admit how I feel about her to her. It wasn't easy, it is not easy and it never will be easy. In between all this happiness of having her around and how grateful I am, theres a spilt second of thought of losing her. That is my one number fear.

She's my best friend and she's the person I love. I want her but I don't wanna lose her. And that's me, being deliciously selfish. I’m overly and terribly convinced that shes my someone, the someone that I will love unconditionally. She deserve that. And I'm not just saying this because she deserve it but its because its true and its a fact. Me loving her unconditionally, its a fact and I will never deny it. I wont deny it even if you try to put a lizard in my head. (I've super high phobia of lizards btw)

I am a very pessimistic person. I always come up with my own excuses and they are ones that always scares me and makes me wanna run away from trying something or anything. But lately, even without my own realization, I've been pretty optimistic. I don't know how, but she did make me see the best in things and also the worst in thing. And to always have hope. I don't believe in hope, I never did, but the way things have been changing, hoping alittle wont hurt so much afterall.

"We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde.

I'm not sure if you will read this but if you are reading this, just know that, you mean more to me than anyone I ever loved at all. The way I feel about you isn’t even something I could write out. It isn’t something I could sing, scream, explain, illustrate or recreate. Its nothing but its everything. Everything that will never be nothing. And nothing to be something which will mean everything someday.

I just remembered how my how my mind went to a place I have never even imagined and I forgot to breathe. For a second, you were everything and nothing, alive in every sense of the word. Finding someone who can make me feel the way you do every day of my life even if we go days without talking, that's incredibly awesome and I'm thankful for that. (I feel like I'm giving a thanksgiving speech :S) I had the most amazing times with you, I cant deny that. Everytime I was with you, its felt so real. You made me feel alive. You made me feel invincible.

There’s not a single day that goes by that I don’t miss you, I miss you more than these simple words typed could express. I'm a nutcase at times. And a really really dumb one cause I always wanted to try to impress you. But I’ve stopped trying how to impress you and I've stopped wondering too. Because you always reminded me you love me for who I am. That's always my wake up call to be me with you. Not to be John Mayer, Luke Pritchard or any other sexy dude. I need to be ME. Just ME. And screw Tegan Rain Quin! I don't wanna her. People who are all crazy for her, doesn’t know you. If they did, Tegan will have to compete you and lose miserably to you.

I owe so many moments of smiles, laughter, and even first experiences all to you. You were honestly the first person I ever loved, the first person I fell in love with. And I know now you might be thinking, what about the guy you 1st fell for and stuff like that. I'll tell you this, I never knew what love meant at the age of 12. He wasn't love. He was a crush. A adorable one and still is. Not a crush but as a adorable person.

I know I’ll love you for the rest of my life in some way and all way. I will always be here for you no matter what happens. There’s so much left of yourself to give, so much left in you to love and breathe another day. I’d rather have you any day, but I don’t know where we stand.

And this song will always remind me of you.

I came along one day and you rearranged my life.

Secret #83.

gosh, I love them! :D

I'll Follow Your Footsteps In The Snow.

I know its getting cold and I know

I want you to hold me so bad

And the music playing softly.

Baby please dont go.

Why dont you stay?

I wanna wake up next to you

I should stop being so patient

I'll miss you when there's no one else to kiss where the mistletoe

i miss my girl. ):

I'm Seeing Double Vision

I'm thinking maybe I can't have relationships

'Cause lately they're not making any sense

And baby you're the one thing on my mind and that can change anytime

'Cause there's so many fine woman that my head is spinning

And I've lost all feeling.

Wakey Wakey.

I just got off from an hour and half phone call. I think that would be the highlight of the day right now. Ashiqin has basically taking care of my for the past four days. With all the tired-ness and sleep-ness I've been having lately, shes been the one trying to bore me to sleep in the afternoons and nights since I was not able to sleep. There are times I feel like punching her in the face and there is times Im thankful for having her around. Gosh, that girl is a pain in ass sometimes especially with her "up to yous" "if you say so" and "nothing" annoys the crap out of me. Im glad she put up with me with all the arguments we had this year. It was harsh and angry one.

But this doesnt change the fact thats shes insane and I still wanna strangle her with all my heart.

4:10am and that kid is still awake and we are still texting like today is not going to end. OMG!

I wanna pancakes for breakfast tomorrow. I wish I had a husband or wife to make breakfast in bed for me. (':

But anyways,

She's no you. You give me more than I could ever want.

Now baby can't you see that you're the one.. the only one who's ever made me feel this way?

Nothings ever coming even close. No one's ever been comparable to you.

Don't ever need to get caught up in jealousy.

Secret #82.

I really enjoy watching Brothers and Sisters with my mum. I really do.

But the awkwardness that occurs when Kevin is kissing another guy is really AWKWARD!

When I know theres going to be a kissing part, I run to get a cup of water.

ITS BLOODY AWKWARD!