I'm back after a very very miserable and saddening week. I have loads to share but I don't know where to start from. I know this is a bad idea, anyways.
One thing I learned from everything that has happened to me in a week is that family, friends or whoever, when they say something so hurtful, something that makes you feel pain and sad only, you should fucking stand up and tell yourself, I am who I am.
Wanna kick me out of your life cause you think I don't respect you, please do. You don't deserve that from me. You don't deserve that from anyone. I am the kinda person who thinks everyone deserve respect. I'm so sorry that I didn't give you respect when I was around 13 or 14. That wasn't what I was trying to do because I was just so scared to talk to you cause you always judged me. You always comment on me. You always had something to say about me. You always had something on me. I felt so unacceptable around you. Even more I felt humiliated and embarrassed for being who I am and no ever should have feel that way. That feeling is brutal. Everyone wanted me to change change change but the thing that you all don't see is, I cant change who I am. You cant go around telling people its my mother's fault cause its not. She brought me up right. She taught everything about manners, it was me who lost my way because I wanted things that I felt comfortable in. So, I did what I did, deny listening to anyone. I was in that age to show my anger to everyone. I didn't care how old or who you are to me but now I know better. I know what I did than was wrong now.
But one thing, if I didn't do what I did and if I was force in everything from head to toes, you wouldn't be able to be reading this cause I wouldn't have been around to write this. The true fact is, I wasn't anyones favourite. I came in second always. Don't you dare say I'm wrong cause I am not. Because I know that. He was the gold prize and I was just a member in this family.
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