Rubbish in Head Leads Me to Blogspot.

I heard my school has gay couples and I only saw two couples before but I couldn't care less cause I don't care who dates who. So, right now, my problem is, I think the girl who sits beside me in class is gay and I'm okay with that but I'm not sure with that. I'm not sure if shes gay or not. But anyways, I don't care so I just mind my own business. But ever since last month she been creeping me out. When I sleep in class, she stares at me. How I know this? Its because that time I wasn't really sleeping cause I was trying too sleep. And then, as you all know how much I hate Perdagangan. Teacher gave alot of notes last week and I, as a lazy student, I didn't want to do and I slept. For like 1 hour which means two whole period of Perdagangan.

Once I woke up, I realized that my Perdagangan note book was missing and I was like where the fuck did my book go? I looked beside me, it was there on her table and she was writing the notes down for me. I gave a stare and I asked, what are you doing with my book? She said, shes helping me with my notes. So, I told thanks but can I have my book back cause I want to do my own notes by myself. And she refuse to give it back but I just kept bugging her and she gave it back. I mean, which friend on this earth will ever do someone else homework when they, themselves are lazy to do their own homework. That really freaked me out. But I got over it after awhile.

And today, she was really like some kind of a person I never met before. I never sat beside anyone in my entire school life up till now, who always ask me for permission. Example, she wants to go to the toilet. For fuck sake, she tells me, I wanna go toilet now and gives me this stare which means, can or not. She ask me weather, she can sit with her friend or not. And I don't know what she trying to tell me. She told that she has friend who dates same sex in malay. And I was like, alright, good to know. I wanna get back to my maths. And lately, I've been rude to her. Very rude. And that's so not me and I feel bad. I guess I'm going to be like that until she back to who she was in the first month. Quiet and not annoying and minding her own business. Yes, I like people who just shut up the whole day in class and never bother me. But overall, she a nice person.

Yes, people in my class says she likes me and I thought the same thing too. Not being perasan or anything. I'm just telling. So, if you really think I'm like some lifeless person who thinks people like me and I think that's annoying. NO, that's just not it! I just letting my thoughts out. Plus, I fucking don't care if you think I'm lifeless cause the truth is, I am a lifeless bitch who only likes spending time with music and has a love life malfunction. I'm basically, trying to start doing things on my own. I just manged stop texting Mabel which is a good thing for me and her. Me, because I can do other stuff, like reading a book or do some writing done. She, saves her credit. I always felt bad when she tells me running low on credit. Next, I need to learn to hang out alone. Like if I want to watch a movie, I wanna do it by myself and not calling Joey or Brenda to teman me.

Everyone has a life and everyone is busy with their own life. I have to start taking life seriously nowadays and I really wanna want to get myself all figured out.

A top ten list of things that scare me the most I'd have to say that the future.