I was trying to date this girl who wasn’t available. We were talking hours and hours a day and sending hundreds and hundreds of texts and e-mails, and spending all this money on trips, and there would be times where I would pull away and just ask her, ‘Why? Why are you still calling me? Why is this still continuing?’ I felt like I was conning her. There was some magic in me that was making this person question everything and continue this dance with me. During this whole ordeal I was very confident and outgoing, but in my alone time I was crying on the floor every day—and I enjoyed it, I enjoyed every second of my misery. The deeper and the darker it went, the more pleasant it felt.
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