I Remember The Days You Were A Hero In My Eyes.

"When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood"

Yeah, I'm going back 2moro. sigh. I really don't want to go. I'm still not accepting the fact that when I reach there, no one will come out from the house to give me a big smile and a warm hug. I'm still not accepting the fact that the house will be empty. I still cant accept the fact that my grandpa picture will be hanging on the wall. I don't want to go and get hunted by the memories that I don't wanna think of.

The house I grew up in, is now empty. No grandma to cook for me and to ask hows my studies. No grandpa to take me to the town and buy me things I want. I don't wanna sit in that house with all my regrets killing me. I'm afraid to see things I don't want too. My grandpa doesn't even know what I got for PMR when he was the one told me to call him 1st to let him know. Everything I wished for is gone. Whats the point of going back if its only going kill me abit by abit.

I cant believe that hes gone. I cant believe all this is really happening now when I thought it will happen when I'm way older. I cant believe that when someone ask me about my grandparents, I say I don't have ANY grandparents. A year ago, I was only left with one and only grandpa and now his taken away. I hope my mum will understand why I don't wanna go there anymore. I really hope she will understand someday.

Those out there, those who still have their grandparents, I tell you this, keep them happy. Enjoy every moment you have with them. Please don't have regrets when they are gone. It will hurt you badly. I promise you cause that's what I'm going through now. And it hurts so bad that I feel like killing myself. Not a day goes by I dont think of it. Please, take care of your love ones.