Everybody Has A Secret.

So, Christmas is over and so far, I only got one wish which came true. But, this wish wasn't in the list but I did wish for it to happen. My wish was for Mabel to come online during Christmas and she did. Woohoo. I thanked Santa the whole day but than I stopped thanking him when Joey said she wasn't able to go out today. And same goes to Brenda. Joey had to do shopping meanwhile Brenda has to go to her mum's friend's place. Big turn down. sigh. But its okay. I still got one wish true. Thanks Santa.

Yesterday, was a boring day.It didn't feel like Christmas at all. It felt like a normal long and boring day. Well, I did expect that cause I was at home. With mum and dad. These people don't know how to have fun on a wonderful day but yelling at each other and pulling me in. Some family I have.

Oh, yesterday, my mum scolded me because I didn't eat breakfast and she was scolding me about breakfast and than it automatically lead to my PMR results. And than she said the truth out of her mouth. She said " Do you know getting 5c is not a big deal, okay. I thought you were going to fail everything cause you hardly studied for the exams. At least you got A for english. I wont be surprise if you got all D's."

Now, tell me if you were a daughter to this women how will you feel? Imagine your own mother didn't have faith in you. Imagine you own mother saying these to you. Just freaking imagine how would you have felt. Now, my mum thinks filmmaking or photography is not for me. Now, she knows what the fuck I need. Or what I wanna be. As days pass by, she is really making me feel uncomfortable at home. Wait, I don't call this home. This is not family.

Sometimes, I wonder whats my brother life like. Out all night till morning. Sleep till in the afternoon. Has friends who always call him out. He doesn't care about what the fuck happens in the family. He does what he wants to do. I wont be surprise if I found out he had sex adi. That's just my brother. Sometimes he can really be awesome and caring but sometimes, he is a jerk. But still, I only count him as family. I just need to grow older to lepak with him. Heehee. Theres still time. :D Its funny how I use to say my brother sucks and he is such an asshole when I was young but now, I think he is really an awesome brother. Compare all the things he has done for me (which is not alot) I'm glad I can call him my brother. He is family.

This part goes out to you.

There's a place in your heart where nobody's been.Take me there. I wanna know everything about you and I wanna go down every road you've been. Where your hopes and dreams and wishes live where you keep the rest of your life hid. I wanna know the girl behind that pretty stare. What makes you who you are, tell me what your story is.


I coulda been like all the others is that what I'm supposed to do? I try to be sensative but I just wanna play. You're my daydream. You know that I've been thinking about you, lately. Everytime I look at you I can't explain what I feel but I feel insane and I can't get away from this feelings.


I don’t know how to feel. Let the words come easily to me cause I find it hard to breath. Why won’t you tell me what it is. Don’t say the words if you don’t mean it. Don’t wanna hear it out in the open. Just keep it inside if you don’t mean it, alright? It’s a game that I can play but do I just let you go?